What No One Says About Postpartum Rage

"Mommy, I'm hungry!" The needs of your toddler awaken you out of a not so deep sleep. You hear the whimpers of your newborn. "Did the baby sleep AT ALL last night? Likely more than I did," you think to yourself. 

You plant your feet on the rough carpet of your bedroom floor...feeling exhausted! "The carpets could really use a good cleaning,"  you think to yourself. The walk to the kitchen is a walk of DOOM! Toys and clutter everywhere. "What a way to start the day!" The anxious thoughts in your mind are much louder than your toddler 😫

"Mommy, I'm hungry!" Your toddler screams again. 

"I KNOW you're hungry! Don't you see me making breakfast?!"😡 you snap. 

Not even 10 mins into the day and you're already angry. The guilt swells over you and warm tears begin to stream down your face. 

Stepping into motherhood is overwhelming, at best. New moms are left to their own devices, as they struggle their way through new changes and responsibilities. 

While some women (seemingly) take on this transition in stride, others find themselves having emotional experiences that feel completely unfamiliar to them. 

Many people have heard of “postpartum depression”, but did you know that there are other perinatal mood disorders?

Many mothers feel pressure to enter motherhood gracefully, seamlessly, and calmly. However, countless factors make that more difficult than one might expect. Postpartum anger (also known as postpartum rage) finds a way to take hold of some women, making it difficult to function and/or thrive as a mother.

In this article, we will talk about the struggles of postpartum anger. We will address:

• What postpartum anger is

• Causes of postpartum anger

• 5 ways to cope with postpartum anger.

Understanding Postpartum Anger

After giving birth, every woman’s mind and body respond differently. A whirlwind of hormonal changes paired with one of the biggest life transitions a person will experience can result in many different things.

While some women naturally regulate and don’t experience much of an emotional shift, other women do find themselves struggling on the spectrum of perinatal mood disorders.

What causes postpartum rage?

When seeking a solution to a problem, we must explore and identify the causes of the problem. With that being said, we must acknowledge that postpartum anger is caused by different things in different women. 

The “easy” cause to blame would be hormone fluctuations resulting in severe mood swings. While this is extremely possible, it is important not to ignore the possibility that there could be other things causing postpartum anger. 

Immediately blaming severe hormone fluctuations can lead to unnecessary intervention, as this blame often results in prescription medication. This often leads to the root problem going undiagnosed.

After all, women do have valid reasons to feel emotional/angry during postpartum. These reasons include:

• Experiencing a loss of identity

• Feeling a loss of control

• Feeling trapped by the hardships of parenthood

• Feeling lonely

• Feeling criticized 

• Feeling “imposter syndrome”

Have you experienced these emotions in postpartum or motherhood? If so, you can see how the anger that results from these emotions cannot be solved or remedied with a quick fix. Instead, these feelings manifest themselves in the following ways:

• Intense irritability

• Anxiety

• Depression

• Trouble sleeping

• Feeling alone

• Withdrawal from loved ones

• Intense anger

• Excessive crying

How can I cope with postpartum anger?

Regardless of the cause of your anger, you deserve relief from it. Keep reading for our holistic and natural recommendations to support you in your journey of coping with postpartum anger.

1. Find support.

 As any parent knows, support is everything! Having a support person, whether it is your partner, parent, sibling, or friend, can completely change your postpartum experience. Feelings of loneliness can intensify the already tumultuous hardship of postpartum anger, while feelings of support and love can actually alleviate it.

 When it comes to your support system, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Most of the time, those that love you will simply be glad that you asked them!

2. Nourish your body.

 In the case that your postpartum hormones are a result of severe hormonal fluctuations, eating a nourishing and balanced diet can help with regulation. For more information about incorporating nourishing foods into your diet, check out The Postpartum Wellness Revolution

3. Practice self-care.

 With the birth of a baby and the taking on of your new role as “mother”, it is easy to feel like you are losing yourself. Through simple, daily self-care practices, you can reconnect with yourself, and even get to know yourself for the new, amazing woman that you are!

 Self-care doesn't have to be extravagant! Here are a few ideas of convenient self-care activities you can incorporate into your day-to-day life!

• treating yourself to a warm, nourishing meal

• listening to your favorite podcast

• using luxury soap and shampoo in the shower

• making and keeping doctor and dental appointments

• meeting with a friend for lunch

• spending time outside

• journalling

• moving your body in a loving way

4. Seek advice.

 If you ever feel like your anger is a threat to the well-being of yourself or another person, seek medical attention immediately.

 There may be a time when you have done all that you can do, and you still find yourself struggling with your mental health in terms of postpartum anger. At this point, be empowered by taking the next step of connecting with your doctor to explore any large-scale issues that may be occurring biologically.

5. Join The Postpartum Wellness Revolution

 At Elephant Baby, we value a holistic and natural approach to mental health struggles. We believe that when mothers confront the emotional journey of motherhood for what it is, they allow themselves to achieve maximum healing during postpartum. 

  The Postpartum Wellness Revolution is a membership hub where you can access resources that are needed for you to thrive in your postpartum time!

The Postpartum Wellness Revolution considers all factors that could influence the mental health of a new mom, including the following:

• Physical nourishment

• Support systems

• Sleep deprivation and rest

• The importance of community

• Mental restoration 

And more! The Postpartum Wellness Revolution covers a variety of topics that contribute to the overall health and wellness of a new mom. 

Postpartum anger can be extremely challenging to deal with. Mothers have so much on their plates, and it can be difficult/impossible to juggle it all. By seeking out the support you need, you will be able to regulate your moods and get back to being the parent you hope to be!

Don't let rage steal your joy in your motherhood journey! Join The Postpartum Wellness Revolution and get a deeper understanding of your rage, access the resources you need, and achieve optimal healing in your motherhood journey. 💞

Rooting for you!

-Kilah xoxo